Real women -vs- Ladies

Sep 28, 2004

So are you a lady or a real woman?

• Ladies - Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
• Real Women - Leftover wine?? Hello!!


• Ladies - Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
• Real Women - Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who the hell cares!


• Ladies - Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
• Real Women - Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on your ass on the couch, with your feet up anyway.


• Ladies - To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
• Real Women - Buy boxed mashed potato mix and you don't have to worry about the potatoes growing arms and legs.


• Ladies - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white powdery mess on the bottom of the cake.
• Real Women - Go to the bakery - they'll even decorate the son of a bitch for you.


• Ladies - Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
• Real Women - Sara Lee frozen freakin pie directions do not include brushing egg whites, so don't do it.


• Ladies - If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
• Real Women - Go ask the very HOT neighbour guy to do it.



And finally the most important tip…

• A good friend will come and bail you out of jail… but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn … that was fun!!